The Way Up

I surrender. I surrender to the weight of the world; To the human spirit And the things that electrify me with life. I surrender. I surrender to myself. I give myself permission To explore the boundaries of my own humanity; To fall in love with stillness And light And being. I surrender! To the unknown Without fear of being broken or lost; With the love of risk and adventure in my heart And a willingness to open myself up To the possibility of finding my truest self. I surrender to awareness That, like the sea, We are fluid beings, Navigating the waters of uncertainty, Yearning to reach an endless shore.

This time last year I was going through what I now consider to be an awakening. At the time I felt like my entire world was falling apart. I was in a relationship that was slowly failing. I had become co-dependent on my partner and embraced his definition of my identity more than my own. I cried almost every day, multiple times a day, usually in my car in a random parking lot so nobody I knew would see me, and sometimes I wasn't even sure why. I felt alone, like I was on a vast island, despite the fact that I live in one of the largest cities in the world. I stopped hanging out with my friends and family. I stopped writing. And then, slowly over time, I stopped climbing. Not entirely, but my trips to the gym were so infrequent that people were surprised to see me when I walked in. I wasn't motivated to do any of the things that I loved. This was a tragedy for me. It wasn't the first time I'd experienced some form of depression, but it certainly had a more paralyzing i...