For the last 8 years I called Los Angeles my home. Living
there wasn’t always easy, and I’ll admit that I wasn’t always happy to come
back to it after being away for long stretches of time, but home it was.
I’d known for a long time that I was going to leave LA
before I actually did – it was just a matter of time. The stress of my job,
coupled with the stress of living in such a large city, wore on me both
physically and emotionally to the point where I didn’t recognize myself
anymore, which was a terrifying realization for someone who had always been so
in touch with their emotions and balanced in their state of mind. Additionally, my identity was separating itself from the lifestyle the city offered as I became more and more entranced with sports like rock climbing, which allowed me access to some of the most beautiful places in the world. LA isn't exactly an outdoorsman's mecca, and as my call to climbing and hiking became stronger, so did my desire to move to a place closer to nature.
I think a lot of people feel disenchanted with Los Angeles,
though they’re afraid to admit it to themselves. The lifestyle of convenience
and luxury that LA offers makes people feel comfortable, and even if they’re
unhappy with their internal state of being they’re remiss to relinquish that
sense of comfort and run headlong toward the thing that scares them (namely, a
lifestyle or mental overhaul). I do suppose the same could be said about most
of society though. Society has a way of pushing people into a particular type
of lifestyle, and it’s a lifestyle that isn’t exactly one size fits all. Get a
degree, get a job that you intend to stay at for 30 years, even if you struggle
with being happy in it, get married, buy a house, have kids, get a dog…
It’s not anyone’s fault really. It’s a societal issue, and
so I respect and understand the decision to embrace comfort. In fact, I myself
embraced comfort for several years. Despite how unhappy I was with where I was
in life, it took me 3 years to take a leap of faith and change
everything. I can now admit that it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done,
though most people I knew saw me as brave.
I left behind everything in my life (not a tactic I
recommend for everyone). I quit a job where my coworkers felt like family, I
moved to Oregon, a state I’d spent about 2 weeks total in, and I moved in with
a partner for the first time in my life. Driving into Oregon, we had no home
rented and we had no idea what we would do for sustainable work. I went from
being on a very specific career track to quite literally everything about my
life path being up in the air within about 2 months time. It was exhilarating,
and not without moments of severe panic and anxiety.
Eventually, my partner and I found a beautiful house to stay
in, found part time or freelance work, and started settling into a new life in Ashland, OR, a city of 21,000
people nestled into the mountains just north of the CA border. Moving from a
city of 4 million people to a city of 21,000 people was a huge lifestyle
change. We no longer had all of the conveniences of a large city at our
fingertips, but what we did gain was a supportive community who truly cared about our well being, and who supported us through all of life's changes. After some time, it became clear that nearly everyone in Ashland had gone through some kind of radical life shift, which is what had led them here. It was hard not to feel like we were home, despite us being new to the area.
Despite what my LA city folk might think, living in a small town has its perks. Yes, most shops are closed on Sundays, a majority of restaurants close before 9pm on weekdays, and you absolutely won't have the convenience of a Target or Costco or major grocery store nearby, but you will meet some of the most incredibly kind, loving, and passionate human beings on the earth. You'll encounter people who turned their dreams into reality, who are pursuing their dreams relentlessly, and who find time to be supportive of others during their own harrowing journey. You'll meet spiritual leaders who want to explore the realms of consciousness with you, people who want to speak to you openly about your feelings and relationships and passions, and people who want to teach you something new about what it means to be human. You'll be closer to nature, which others will want to explore with you. Because you live in a small town, you have the opportunity to be an entrepreneur and open the first... you name it! You will feel loved. You will not feel alone. You will feel that absolutely nothing is out of your grasp. And that will both scare you and excite you, because you will know, deep inside, that you are the creator of your own reality and that nothing can stop you.
These days, driving into Ashland feels like a blessing. As I approach the CA/OR border, I am surrounded by miles of Douglas Firs, mountains, and magnificent bodies of water that I hope to swim and play in some day. The night is silent (with the exception of the occasional pesky bear) and the stars are abundant. Though I am still adjusting to a different way of life, I always find myself smiling as I drive over that border into the small town I call home. And I realize that for the first time in a long time I am truly happy. This is what life should feel like. This is coming home.
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